David Bray : A Snake With Your Tea?

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(image courtesy of David’s facebook profile picture)

Name: DAVID BRAY

Nickname: Tragically I guess it would be DAVE. If i type it like this D.A.V.E it looks a little more interesting?

Sign: Pisces (if that’s what you meant? Or is it some kind of masonic thing I’m missing out on? Went for dinner the other night opposite the huge masonic building in Great Queen St in London. There are a LOT of masons. They all had a sign.)

Favorite:

Book. ‘Jesus’ Son’ Denis Johnson

Season. Winter

Beverage. Morning coffee, evening wine.

Q1. What is something you hate doing, but must do anyways?

A1. Anything involving arithmetic. I’m number blind. I tell myself that to cover up stupidity. I need numbers to count pens, measure pieces of paper, sugar in coffee, get on the right bus. All that.

Q2. If you had to give up one of your 5 senses, which one would you abandon?

A2.I think I’ve already lost my sense of smell. My girlfriend constantly tells me she can smell cat’s piss. I can’t. At all. Which either means she is a cat. Or I stink of piss.Tell me if I stink of piss.

Q3. Most rewarding moment of your life thus far?

A3. Every day alive brings its own rewards.

Q4. If you owned a parrot, what would you teach it to say?

A4. ‘He’s not here.’

Q5. How old were you the first time you got drunk? How was the experience?

A5. I was 13 or 14. Went through the contents of my parent’s drinks cabinet with a friend. We had a small window of opportunity when my mother went out. About 10.00 a.m.- 12ish. On a Thursday morning in the school holidays. I remember laughing. A lot. And barely able to stand. It was difficult to get it together to disappear from the house before discovery. It was a very methodical, measured approach.

Q6. Whats the most interesting thing you found lying on the street/sidewalk/ground/random place?

A6. A half eaten snake in Anerley, London. If you know it, then you will know that is no place to find a snake. I’m not talking grass snake, it was a hefty looking thing. Cobra size. It looked tragic. We left it. An hour later it had moved up the street by a mile or so.

Q7. How many car accidents have you been in?

A7. Four happened in the space of 6 weeks, culminating in me totally writing off my car. A slow impact, 5mph head-on collision. Really mundane. I think I prefer the slow crashes.

Q8. Do you have a phobia?

A8. Moths. I scream. Proper screaming. Embarrassing.

Q9. If you could morph into any animal what would it be?

A9. Bear. So I could see if I really do shit in the woods. What an unpleasant answer. Should have said unicorn. I don’t shit in the woods. Not that I could smell it. Going to stop typing about shit now.

Q10. If you knew when the world was going to freeze for ten minutes, what would you plan to do in those 10mins?

A10. Check out what’s really going on in that masonic building.

*I have held on to this survey for WAY to long now and it needs to get out into the universe damn it. Unfortunately I don’t have the time to do a proper write up on the work except for the fact that its mysterious,  sultry, and seduces you to look a little bit closer. Please check out more of David Bray’s work on his website and check back later for a better write up. 

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